"I need to go to Sao Paulo.", announced The Husband.
"Awesome. I'm coming with.", I counter-announced.
The day of departure arrived. One hour before I was due to leave my house for the airport I still didn't begin to pack my suitcase.
"Can you please at least attempt to pack? We will miss the flight. What's wrong with you?", asked The Husband.
"I don't know where to start. It's overwhelming."
The Husband rolled his eyes and told me in no uncertain terms that he's going to Brazil with or without me.
"Fine! I'll pack.", I said and placed the first pair of shoes into a massive suitcase.
Naturally, when we finally rocked up to the airport, our check in was closed.
The Husband was looking at me murderously. Me? I was just grateful that he didn't have any weaponry on him in that particular moment.
"What do you mean...the check in is closed?", I asked the airport worker.
"It's closed. You're late."
"BY ONE MINUTE!!!!"
"TRAFFIC!!! Traffic was really bad.", I begun to lie.
"OK. But you better run!!!", the airport worker bestowed his mercy upon us.
"We also reserved the seats..." I begun, but he stopped me in my tracks..."We gave your seats away. COS YOU WERE LATE!"
We were stuck with dreaded middle seats. On a 12 hour flight.
"Ya, excuse me....I would like to BUY an extra legroom seat.", I asked an air hostess.
"Nah. No can do. You need to do that at the check in or online.", said the air hostess.
"But the check in was closed!!! And the extra legroom seats are empty. Please!", I was desperate.
I wanted to simultaneously scream and punch the air hostess in the face, but I was worried that I would be escorted off the plane and consequently appear in Daily Mail under headline of "Neurotic bitch from hell air rage passenger punches air hostess!" so I admitted defeat and shuffled back to my seat.
After the jolly 12 hours of me trying to contort my 5'8'' large frame in a variety of awkward positions into a seat meant for midgets we finally arrived to Sao Paulo.
"Yes! We're here! Let's go!! Brazil....lalalalalalalala...lalalalalalalala...Brazil....Brazil...Braziiiiiiil"...I sung.
Husband just rolled his eyes and started walking ahead so no one can associate him with the crazy lady...aka me.
As I stepped off the plane looking for a non existing exit sign, I noticed a man pointing towards an exit instead.
"Well, that's one way to create employment" I thought to myself and hurried towards the immigration and customs.
Customs decided to single us out for extra control. Big signs were declaring that no foreign plants are allowed to be brought into Brazil.
As an avid watcher of "Nothing To Declare ", I panicked: "Are muffins plant material????", I asked The Husband.
"Are you mental?" he rolled his eyes.
As it turned out muffins were not a plant material and we were allowed into the country.
Sao Paulo was rainy and grey.
"Great. What's the point of leaving London when the weather is just the same on the other side of the world.", I thought.
Actually, it was perfect day for indoor activities...such as eating...and shopping.
"Let's get some money out.", I said.
Little did I know that I will have a minor nervous breakdown trying to find a cash machine that will deem me worthy enough to take my foreign card and cough up some money.
The 1056th machine I tried seemed to be able to cope with foreign cards.
"Yes!!! Money!!!", I announced.
I then looked left, then right, then left, then right again, then left, then behind....
"What ARE you doing???", asked, by now exasperated, Husband.
"Why, only scanning for potential robbers."
He rolled his eyes and pointed to a heavily armed security guard.
I took the money out.
"Let's hit the shops and restaurants!"
First things first!
T-shirt: POP Cph (similar here )
Jeans: Mango (here on sale )
Sandals: Schutz (similar here )
Name necklace: oNecklace
Linking up with Visible Monday